How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bet he comes in French.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
