as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
