Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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