My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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