i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
