This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
