Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
