...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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