I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My balls are so social today.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
