I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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