I think i peed on brittanys purse
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
