1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
