I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
