Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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