i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
