The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
