obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize