how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
