you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
