why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
