No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
