We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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