if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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