What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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