I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
