is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
