Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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