I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
