sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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