I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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