Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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