cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
