Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
