I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
