i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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