oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
