U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
