I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
