God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize