Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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