Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
