Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
4 words: hood of his car
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize