Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
