i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
