i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
