I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
