There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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