the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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