Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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