As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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