Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
