Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
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