Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
