I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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