He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
