She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
