does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
