Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
